oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Floor bacon is actually really good
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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