I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
