I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
