My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name