Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.