That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
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she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.