you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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