Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
