I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize