We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
