Yo dont text me then not text me
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
