When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
