He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Drunk is a universal language darling
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
