The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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