Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize