I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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