man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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