There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
