Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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