Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize