According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
