sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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