you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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