Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
