im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
whose ass print is on the piano?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
