and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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