you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
