I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
