HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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