in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
