how can u be prego again
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
