I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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