Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
