I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
