I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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