He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
