i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
