He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
