I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
