just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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