I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
