Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
