So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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