woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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