I got her a Nickelback box set.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
