My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i out mim tonsoeep
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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