he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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