There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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