He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
