when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
