I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
