Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
