i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
