i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
