Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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