So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize