This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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