I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
