How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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