Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize