Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
