I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize