I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
