he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize