Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
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Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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