4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize