You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize