we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
